semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

(via welcome-to-jessicas-life)


the-irish-mayhem:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

chekov-in-a-dress:

I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.

I want all of the advertising to be for the hero and none of the marketing to even allude to this death.

imagine all the male tears

(via welcome-to-jessicas-life)


Lucy’s Sutcliffe amazing advice

paulittabenn:

"What other people think of you is none of your business." kaeandlucy

(via megarchie)


ihartbeat:

New Video (By Hartbeat)

(via sarahcroce)


My therapist just told me a joke.

nehoynehoy14:

lilysinthefall:

professorfangirl:

timemachineyeah:

So this girl walks up to another girl and says “Hey, have you heard of the Bechdel Test?”

And the other girl says, “Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day!”

SIT DOWN.

i don’t get it

I feel like this is an inside joke that I am not getting

(via sarahcroce)


Reblog if you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, transgender or a supporter.

This should be reblogged by everyone. Even if you’re straight, you should be a supporter.

(via toodlesalreadyleft)


yourtubes:

reblog if your url represents who you really are 

(via more-than-a-little-gay)


artemisfowlstolemysoul:

Being a nice person is so fun

Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it

Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets

There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.

(via internetcallgirl)


Not everyone you lose is a loss.

crimewave360:

shinygays:

My anaconda don’t want none unless the state of the economy recovers, minimum wage workers see an increase in their pay, and women, racial, and sexual minorities acquire their rights.

hun

(via internetcallgirl)