I have not read it because that would be directly contributing the to the financial stability of the publishing company and the author, which I don’t want to do. I have read enough excerpts and summaries online to know enough about it. It is a completely inaccurate and toxic portrayal of BDSM relationships, which are about safety and consent. In Fifty Shades there is no representation of safe words, consent, overall physical safety or mental well-being. It is all about the dominance of a twisted, borderline-psychopathic man over an innocent girl. A lot of people will retort with “but she wanted sex, she pursued him, etc. so therefore she isn’t innocent”. Well yes, maybe she did, but he also apparently put a tracking device in her phone and stalked her to win her affections. Nobody ASKS for abuse, and that’s what the entire book is about. The whole concept sickens me and I have had dozens of people (friends, extended relatives, classmates, etc.) try to convince me that it’s “not that bad” and that I’m “blowing it out of proportion” but I don’t think it’s healthy to have such a toxic and patriarchal book circulating the world and gaining so much attention. The world is already a patriarchal society that prioritizes the needs and desires of a man over the safety and well-being of a woman. I mean hell, women can’t even get birth control without a struggle in this country, do you really think people are looking out for us if they won’t even give us potentially life saving-medication? This book and the upcoming movie will only encourage young women (and women of all ages) to remain in the mindset that their goal in life is to please a man and allow themselves to be dominated unwillingly for the pleasure of their partner. It completely strips away any autonomy or independence of the female character and tells girls that you don’t have a right to say no. It’s a complete and total perpetuation of rape culture, a culture that is so prevalent in our society already. We need to be writing books that empower women, not books that remind them what society has told them again and again, that they’re only sexual play things and nothing more. Women are capable of so much and this book throws all of that to the side and only focuses on women as submissive creatures, which is not what women are. It’s also very insulting to true subs in BDSM relationships, who are generally very independent and able to take control. Being submissive in a sexual relationship is not about giving up your autonomy for the pleasure of another. A sub is just as in control as the dom. That’s the who goddamn point of a safe word. But no, apparently we can’t represent perfectly healthy sexual play between two consenting partners because that wouldn’t sell books. It’s bullshit and I really hope none of my friends go to see the movie because I sure as hell won’t and I think you have to have a lot of nerve to go see a movie that directly dehumanizes your gender.
Basically, I really fucking hate it.
Basically, I really f*cking love this and her.
Why are there not more people out there with this kind of mind set? With the courage to stand up for women everywhere and say “we deserve more”? More people that will stand up and fight for what is right and what is deserved? This society needs a good slap in the face and to realise that words and things like this really, truly affect people in a really negative way. Women everywhere need to realise that they are more than play things and that they have their own lives that they can live however the hell they want and men everywhere need to realise women deserve to be treated respect and dignity not as a play toy but as a strong, independent person with their own rights and values.
I know that not everyone acts like this but there are enough people out there acting like this to make it a problem and it needs to stop.
Thank you Hayley, for being you, for standing up for women every and for being awesome :)